I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
