you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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