do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
