I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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