Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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