No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I showed him my bush... on skype.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
After tacos, we're chasing women.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He shit in the fireplace
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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