I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
