i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
