Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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