drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
