Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
