I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
