Whod you bang
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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