Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
