Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
