Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
