Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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