Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
