you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
