your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
this hospital has no fireball
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
