Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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