Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
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