So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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