So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
