you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
