So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
