how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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