I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
