So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
