I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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