and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
