Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
