I want to have your abortion
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
