your thong is hanging out like whoa
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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