wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
