I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
