My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
