the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
