dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
