thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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