What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
