like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
