So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
