So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
