CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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