She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
