In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
