Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The beers last night were like the tears from god
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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