I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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