i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
